Now the Brussels Backhander Club are snookering English TV workers.

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Posted on : 08-05-2012 | By : EnglandExists | In : Uncategorized

English TV workers snookered by quota giving jobs to Scotland

IMG is the company which produces the World Snooker Championship for the BBC
Laurence Griffiths/Getty
  • Ronnie O’Sullivan of England in action against Matthew Stevens of Wales
    IMG is the company which produces the World Snooker Championship for the BBC Laurence Griffiths/Getty
Ben Webster Media Editor
Published at 12:01AM, May 8 2012

English members of the crew producing the World Snooker Championship in Sheffield for the BBC lost their jobs and were replaced under a quota system favouring staff north of the Border.

Workers from Scotland were sent to England and put up in hotels while specialists who had produced the two-week tournament for several years were told they could not have the work because they were from England.

The Times has spoken to three of the freelance workers, who earned up to £6,000 each for the two-week tournament at the Crucible Theatre. They spoke on condition of anonymity because they fear losing other work if they are seen to criticise the BBC.

One said: “The absurd thing is that this is an event taking place in England. If this had happened the other way round — Scottish workers in Scotland losing their jobs to the English — you would never get Alex Salmond off the airwaves complaining about it. They used to employ local students as runners to make the tea and do other simple jobs but this year they are bringing people down from Scotland and paying for expensive hotel rooms.”

Another said that IMG, the company which produces the snooker championship for the BBC, apologised for not re-engaging him but said it had to hire less experienced workers from Scotland or risk being in breach of its contract with the corporation. A third said: “I was booked to do the snooker but then told the quotas had become stricter and they could not employ me because I did not have a Scottish address.”

About a dozen English people are thought to have been told by IMG that they were being replaced by workers based in Scotland. An IMG spokesman referred all queries to the BBC.

Under rules enforced by Ofcom, public service broadcasters must meet “out of London” production quotas to ensure regions and nations (Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland) get a share of the jobs and money spent making TV programmes. A programme must meet at least two of three criteria: the company making it must have a “substantive base” in the region or nation, spend a minimum amount of the total budget there and/or a minimum amount on “production talent” there. It is believed IMG hired workers based in Scotland to meet the latter.

The BBC already exceeds its “out of London” quotas, set by Ofcom at 30 per cent of spending on programmes and 25 per cent of the total hours broadcast. However, in 2008 the BBC Trust set a target of moving 50 per cent of production and commissioning of programmes outside London by 2016. Within this was an extra target of moving 17 per cent to the “devolved nations” to “increase the opportunities for the creative economy”.

The 50 per cent target has already resulted in BBC Sport, Radio Five Live, Children’s BBC and Breakfast moving to Salford, Crimewatchto Wales and Question Time to Scotland.

A BBC spokesman said IMG won the snooker contract partly because it had committed to recruiting from Scotland. “This seemed . . . absolutely in the spirit of our commitment to move production out of London.”

The snooker final last night was an all-English contest in which Ronnie O’Sullivan was leading Ali Carter.

Election breakdown

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Posted on : 04-05-2012 | By : EnglandExists | In : Uncategorized

Today 181 councils had their elections.
Not surprisingly Labour has gained the most councillors and gained control of 32 councils.
Conservative lost 12 councils and 406 councillors.
Lib Dems lost 1 council and 335 councillors.

Now the biggest winners from the rest were Ukip with 9 councillors, many second and third places.
English Democrats lost their councillors and got less votes than previous years.
Although Steve Morris gained as did his wife Val, well done to them.

The political guru Eddy Butler came last with 97 votes:

Loughton Fairmead – results
Election Candidate Party Votes %
David Wixley Loughton Residents Association 428 54% Elected
Stephen William Barnes Labour 155 20% Not elected
Iqbal Singh Kalkat Conservative 114 14% Not elected
Edward Mark Butler The English Democrats 97 12% Not elected

Robin Tilbrook came second but the results were abysmal in all honesty for getting less than butler and only 1% more ( allegedly it was his brethren from the local masons voting for him):

High Ongar, Willingale and the Rodings – results

Election      Candidate                   Party                      Votes %
Councillor Maggie McEwen Conservative 345 70% Elected
Robin Charles William Tilbrook The English Democrats 63 13% Not elected
Lewis Alfred Montlake Labour 51 10% Not elected
Jeremy Nicholas Barnecutt Green Party 31 6% Not elected

Here is the full run down. More blogs to come.

Party Councils Councillors
Total +/- Total +/-
Labour 75 +32 2158 +823
Conservative 42 -12 999 -406
Liberal Democrat 6 -1 425 -335
Scottish National Party 2 +2 424 +57
Plaid Cymru 0 -1 158 -41
Green 0 0 40 +11
Residents Association 0 0 21 +5
UK Independence Party 0 0 9 0
Independent Community and Health Concern 0 0 5 +3
Respect 0 0 5 +5
Liberal 0 0 4 -6
Scottish Socialist Party 0 0 1 0
Independent 5 -2 0 0
British National Party 0 0 0 -6
English Democrats 0 0 0 -2
Socialist 0 0 0 0
Others 0 0 596 -143
No Overall Control 51 -18

Anti-fascist magazines and Websites target the English Democrats! – From the pages of England Watch

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Posted on : 02-05-2012 | By : EnglandExists | In : Uncategorized

 

Anti-fascist magazines and Websites target the English Democrats!

Posted on 

 

For three months as England Watch, but for over a year in total, we have been warning that the actions of Robin Tilbrook, Steve Uncles and the majority of the EDP National Council in recruiting, promoting and relying on ex members of the BNP would backfire.

It gives England Watch no pleasure to have to report that BNP recycling plan of Tilbrook and Uncles has now proved to be disastrous for the English Democrats and may yet prove disastrous for the English nationalist movement in general.

Historically English nationalism has been perceived as a bit of a joke, Morris dancing, men in crusader costumes rescuing damsels and a succession of English National Parties with luminary members such as the disgraced  MP John Stonehouse. Then along came Robin Tilbrook and his incarnation of the ENP, this became the English Democrats and slowly a few people saw that a viable English nationalist party was a possibility. Very quickly though things began to unravel!

The recruitment of Steven Uncles into the EDP in 2003 began their journey to where they are now. Political egos were allowed to reign supreme in the National Council of the EDP. Building from the grass-roots was abandoned in favour of political gimmicks and unrealistic goals; money was squandered as if the coffers were bottomless.

The quest for election as London Mayor has twice resulted in farce with the EDP looking like a joke party.

In 2007, without even having a single councillor elected in the whole of England, the EDP decided to contest the Welsh Assembly elections, with candidates from Essex, Kent, Yorkshire etc, the EDP has yet to find a member in Monmouthshire or Wales willing to stand for them.

In the 2010 General election they scraped together enough candidates to qualify for an election broadcast, the result was that the party’s candidates received an average percentage vote lower than in 2005 when they had no broadcast.

Steven Uncles’ antics over racist jokes, attempts to get money in exchange for promoting Sinn Fein in England, sick jokes about suicide victims and plane crashes have damaged the EDP quite badly in some areas, especially in Dartford. That though was fairly localised and could have been contained there and ignored in the rest of the country if the EDP National Council could have found the guts to have stood up to him and Tilbrook.

The links that Uncles, Tilbrook and the majority of the National Council have forged with ex-BNP members now in the EDP, is contaminating the whole English nationalist movement. It is not just a few ‘ordinary’ members of the BNP who have joined; two of the EDP candidates next month are actually paid to work for a BNP Member of the European Parliament.

This influx of ex-BNP has resulted in organisations such as Searchlight, Hope not Hate and other anti-fascist groups beginning to target the EDP. Of the 90 EDP candidates in next month’s elections almost half are known to be from the BNP, and at least 25 are former BNP candidates.

England Watch condemns the way that the National Council of the EDP has tainted English nationalism with its reliance on former BNP members as a way of building support. It has resulted in a large number of dedicated people leaving the EDP; many have joined UKIP in the hope that it may eventually develop an English stance, some have quit politics completely.

The final straw for many of them was the National Council’s, near unanimous, vote to accept Eddy Butler as a member, readers may know that he is one of those who work for a BNP Member of the European Parliament. He also tried to take Nick Griffin’s place as Leader of the BNP.

Of the ten council members attending the meeting last November Robin Tilbrook, Steve Uncles, Charles Vickers, David Lane, Derek Hilling, Roger Cooper, Michael Barnbrook and Alan Bennett-Spencer all voted in favour of Eddy Butler’s membership application with only Steve Morris voting against. Mark Lancaster abstained.

All of these people must not only accept their part of the blame for what is now unfolding but it must be pointed out to the people of England that it is not the English nationalist movement that stinks just a few score people.

Loophole ‘lets Northern Irish students avoid Scottish tuition fees’

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Posted on : 02-05-2012 | By : EnglandExists | In : Uncategorized

As usual it will be the English Student that is stung for Uni Fees in the UK.

Vote UKip Thursday and in the future to get fairness back in the Countries of the UK.

Loophole ‘lets Northern Irish students avoid Scottish tuition fees

Scottish universities have denied an influx of `fee refugees`. Picture: PAScottish universities have denied an influx of `fee refugees`. Picture: PA

By CHRIS MARSHALL
Published on Wednesday 2 May 2012 00:00

 

SCOTTISH universities have denied they are facing an influx of so-called “fee refugees” from Northern Ireland after it emerged some students there are being told that they can obtain free tuition with an Irish passport.

 

Under the system introduced by the Scottish Government, students from England, Wales and Northern Ireland will have to pay fees of up to £9,000 a year from later this year, while Scottish students and those from elsewhere in the EU will continue to be exempt.

However, it has now emerged that school-leavers in Northern Ireland applying for certain courses are being told they can have free tuition, no matter where they live, as long as they hold an Irish passport.

Anyone who is a citizen of the “island of Ireland” is entitled to apply for an Irish passport, meaning students in Northern Ireland could do so in the hope of avoiding fees.

Yesterday Universities Scotland, which represents university principals, said institutions considered a candidate’s residency, not their nationality, when offering a place.

But Cathy Moore, chairwoman of the Careers Teachers’ Association in Northern Ireland, said: “The Scottish Parliament has said if you have an Irish passport and live in Northern Ireland and provide that [Irish passport], you are eligible to have the fees paid.”

It is understood some Scottish universities have told students in Northern Ireland holding dual nationality they will be exempt from fees, while others have said they will be classed as UK nationals and will have to pay.

A spokesman for Universities Scotland said: “We are taking advice on this issue, but based on the most recent statistics available, there has not been a rise in applicants holding an Irish passport.

“The regulations for rest-of-UK fees are based on applicants’ ordinary residency rather than nationality, and this is the basis on which universities will be processing applications. Universities continue to liaise closely with the Scottish Government and Student Awards Agency Scotland on these regulations to ensure the appropriate fee.”

Education secretary Mike Russell has admitted the situation around funding remains “fluid”, but urged students in Northern Ireland not to rely on being exempt from fees.

A Scottish Government spokesman said: “We are not currently aware of any evidence of a surge in applications from Northern Ireland residents with dual nationality, either this year or in previous years. In fact, the latest statistics published only last week showed precisely no change. However, we will keep the matter under review.

“It is and always has been the case that students holding dual UK or other EU nationality applying to a Scottish university can make an application for their fees to be paid.

“It is a recent development that fees for Scottish universities have increased to bring them into line with fees in England.”

Tory education spokeswoman Liz Smith said: “We are in a position where no-one is really sure exactly who qualifies for free tuition in Scotland and who does not. This confusion is entirely the creation of the Scottish Government.

“When Mike Russell admits the situation is ‘fluid’ he means it is a complete muddle, and it is ludicrous for them to try to point the finger at Westminster.”

What about an England Act?

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Posted on : 01-05-2012 | By : EnglandExists | In : Uncategorized

Just read this on the Brussels Broadcasting Cronies site and think it is a shame this government will offer the few powers to self govern yet ignore the majority stake holders in this defunct UK.

Use common sense and vote these people out, go on give them a shock and vote for the party for the People.

Vote UKIP on Thursday.

Scotland Bill becomes Scotland Act (2012) after Royal Assent

Scottish Parliament building
The Scottish government backed the Scotland Bill but said it had been “bypassed by events”

Royal Assent has been given to the Scotland Bill, making it the Scotland Act 2012.

The fresh piece of legislation will allow MSPs to set income tax rates in Scotland and enable Holyrood to borrow more money.

The coalition government at Westminster said it represented the biggest transfer of fiscal power to Scotland in more than 300 years.

But the Scottish government believed the bill was a missed opportunity.

As well as bringing in a new Scottish rate of income tax and borrowing powers worth £5bn, the Scotland Act (2012) will hand powers over air guns, drink-driving and speeding limits to Holyrood.

It will also devolve stamp duty, land tax and landfill tax, and give the Scottish Parliament a role in appointments in broadcasting and the Crown Estate.

In addition, there will be new procedures for Scottish criminal cases that go to the UK Supreme Court.

The bill officially became law after receiving Royal Assent, but Holyrood will not be able to use the new powers until 2016.

The SNP administration at Holyrood, which intends to hold a referendum on Scottish independence in the autumn of 2014, backed the Scotland Bill, but said it had been “bypassed by events”.

‘Pay attention’

However, Scottish Secretary Michael Moore told BBC Scotland’s Good Morning Scotland programme: “I’m confident when we get on to debating independence that in Scotland we are going to judge we are far better to continue to be part of the most successful partnership of nations in history, rather than going our own separate way.

“But in the meantime, I am confident that we can do that and we will do that. It is important that we pay attention to the detail of what will soon be the Scotland Act and get on with the change.”

However, the Scottish government’s minister for strategy, Bruce Crawford, said the legislation could have gone further.

He told the BBC: “The bill does give us some useful additional powers on air weapons, on drink driving, with speeding, although on taxation powers and income tax, on stamp duty, on landfill taxes, it’s more limited. It’s not quite as big a deal as I heard Michael Moore making out.”

UKIP is giving Englishness the voice it craves

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Posted on : 30-04-2012 | By : EnglandExists | In : Uncategorized

Times
Published at 12:01AM, April 30 2012

As Europe becomes a divisive issue again, protest votes are flowing away from the Lib Dems

Two years ago in the 2010 election one in three of those who voted supported parties other than Labour or the Conservatives, the largest protest against the two-party system since the 19th century. The main beneficiaries were the Liberal Democrats, who took nearly a quarter of the vote. But a party of government cannot also be a party of protest. Nor can a party of the Left easily find a home in a coalition with the Right. As Tony Blair put it, if you have opposed a Labour Government for 13 years from the left, and now find yourself governing with the Conservatives, you have a problem.

It is hardly surprising, therefore, that the Lib Dems have plummeted in the polls. Last year the party lost about 700 local council seats. It stands to lose many hundreds more — perhaps more than half of those it holds — in Thursday’s local elections. For the party faces a crisis not just of support, but of identity, one that it cannot hope to resolve if it remains tied to the Tory chariot wheel until the end of the Parliament in May 2015.

The Lib Dem collapse leaves a space for an alternative party of protest. Who will fill it? In 2010 the BNP secured nearly 2 per cent of the vote, by far the highest gained by a far right party in Britain. In the 1930s, in far worse economic circumstances, Oswald Mosley’s British Union of Fascists was too weak to put up candidates in general elections; unlike the BNP, it never won a local council seat.

But the BNP is tainted, its voters reluctant to admit their allegiance. UKIP, which won 3per cent of the vote, a million votes, in 2010, is not.

Its voters were not just protesters, but made a clear choice to support a party whose identity was stamped with the Union Jack and a big no to Europe.

In 21 seats the UKIP vote added to that of the Conservatives was higher than the Labour or Liberal Democrat vote. So, ironically, the intervention of an anti-European party might well have handed the balance of power to Britain’s most pro-European party, the Liberal Democrats.

As Liberal Democrat fortunes have declined, so UKIP’s have risen, putting the two neck and neck in recent polls. One YouGov poll last week had UKIP as Britain’s third party.

Until now, UKIP’s progress has been hampered by voters’ reluctance to consider Europe as important as the economy or the public services. But this may be about to change. The rumbling eurozone crisis, which has already had an impact on the British economy, may reach another critical phase as France and Greece go to the polls and Spain struggles with its debt. At the same time unpopular decisions have caused public pressure to mount for Britain to withdraw from the European Court of Human Rights. Pressure for a referendum on Britain’s membership of the EU cannot lag far behind.

Euroscepticism is becoming an increasingly important component of Englishness. Indeed, in his recent book English Nationalism and Euroscepticism Ben Wellings suggests that Englishness is actually coming to be defined by hostility to the European project, rather than by hostility to devolution.

The European project emphasises the transcending of national sovereignty. In Scotland, the SNP welcomes this, as it sees the EU as an enabler of independence. In England, by contrast, it is seen as a threat to national independence. Yet no big party represents England. The Conservatives, the most obvious candidates, role, are disqualified since, as a Unionist party, they seek to represent the whole of the United Kingdom. As a result there is a disconnection in England between Parliament and the people on Europe.

Into this breach steps UKIP, which favours an English parliament and is the nearest thing we have to an English nationalist party. In the 2009 euro elections, it came second, winning 12 of the 58 English seats at Strasbourg, more than Labour or the Liberal Democrats. The Conservatives were in opposition that year and claimed to be eurosceptic, promising a referendum on the Lisbon treaty. With the Conservatives in government, UKIP must believe that it has a strong chance of winning the 2014 euro elections.

Since 1951, when the two main parties secured 97 per cent of the vote between them, their support has been declining, but at a glacially slow rate. However, the introduction of proportional representation for devolved bodies, the London Assembly and the European Parliament and the direct election of mayors have encouraged the habit of voting for parties other than the big two, speeding up the transition towards a multi-party system.

The crisis in the eurozone will accelerate the process still further. It could, indeed, lead to a crisis of confidence in the British Establishment, many of whom favoured Britain’s joining the EU, even if they opposed the euro. If Greece, or another member state leaves the euro — still more, if the eurozone breaks up — the psychological effects on English politics will be profound, comparable perhaps with the collapse of the gold standard in the 1930s or the winter of discontent in 1978-79. Those crises realigned the established parties. The eurozone crisis threatens to undermine them.

For more than 40 years, Europe has been a deeply divisive political issue, raising as it does profound issues of national identity. In 1970, it split Labour; in the 1990s, it almost destroyed John Major’s Conservative Government. It could prove equally divisive in the future, realigning both the political parties and also the nations comprising the UK.

Vernon Bogdanor is Research Professor at the Institute of Contemporary History, King’s College London

Let not this be the last battle – A poem by Mark Higginson

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Posted on : 26-04-2012 | By : EnglandExists | In : Uncategorized

A poem for St. George’s Day.

On St. George’s Day who will celebrate England,

Who will strive to promote this great fair land?

Will we dance and sing in loud voices and charge in competition,

Will we fly the flag so nobly, clasped hard in our hands?

Not all English people will celebrate this joyous occasion,

Many will be glad to see them not perform such a task.

Many who are English will not care to do so,

For that great malady that is apathy holds many in it’s grasp.

The fight is on for the hearts and minds of our great people,

To unite them against the enemy within.

Of all the battles to save England, this must be the one to succeed,

For this battle cannot be lost, if England is to win.

Let not this be the last battle, while truth, justice, and freedom,

Are rested from England’s children.

Only in the cold light of victory and restoration,

Can England be at peace and free.

England my England

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Posted on : 26-04-2012 | By : EnglandExists | In : Uncategorized

England my England*   

Goodbye to my England, So long my old friend 
Your days are numbered, being brought to an end 
To be Scottish, Irish or Welsh that’s fine 
But don’t say you’re English, that’s way out of line. 

The French and the Germans may call themselves such
So may Norwegians, the Swedes and the Dutch
You can say you are Russian or maybe a Dane
But don’t say you’re English ever again. 

At Broadcasting House the word is taboo
In Brussels it’s scrapped, in Parliament too
Even schools are affected. Staff do as they’re told 
They must not teach children about England of old.
         
Writers like Milton and Shakespeare
The pupils don’t learn about them it would appear
How about Agincourt, Hastings , Arnhem or Mons ?
When England lost hosts of her very brave sons. 

We are not Europeans, how can we be? 
Europe is miles away, over the sea 
We’re the English from England, let’s all be proud 
Stand up and be counted – Shout it out loud! 

Let’s tell our Government and Brussels too 
We’re proud of our heritage and the Red, White and Blue 
Fly the flag of Saint George or the Union Jack
Let the world know - WE WANT OUR ENGLAND BACK !!!!

*Even though this was written by  Marlene Guest – BNP, the sentiment could be used in a more positive light by civic minded people as it could be said for England and all who reside in this country.

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Posted on : 20-04-2012 | By : EnglandExists | In : St george, St George's Cross
Free St. George's Day eCards

In this issue:
• Check our list of local St. George’s Day events
• ‘Beer Ticking’ on St. George’s Day
• St. George and the 3Cs
• Send us your St. George celebration photos

Click to send free
‘Happy St. George’s Day’
cards by email today.

Hello James

Many St. George celebrations start today (Friday 20 April) in the run up to St. George’s Dayon Monday, 23 April. So this issue examines how you can celebrate England’s national day.

We only send 4 issues of our newsletter each year, but if you don’t want to receive any more then just click unsubscribe.

If you feel this newsletter may be of interest to other people please send them a copy by clicking here.


Our list of local St. George’s Day events

The weather forecast for the weekend is improving, so get out and have fun supporting St. George events in your local area. Our list of events is growing by the hour, so check regularly.

We English are a creative bunch, and our celebrations include a trip down the River Thames in a Kayak, a pie eating contest and a world record attempt.

But there is also the more traditional Hog Roast, English Ales and Morris Dancing.

Our list is organised by County and you can view it by clicking here www.stgeorgesholiday.com/events.

‘Beer Ticking’ on St. George’s Day

England has a great tradition of brewing fine local Ales, and instead of drinking just to get drunk (like on St.Patrick’s Day) try Beer Ticking.

Choose pubs with a good selection of Real English Ales and see how many you can ‘tick’ off your list during the St. George weekend. Check our St. George’s Day events list or visit theCampaign for Real Ale website.

St. George and the 3Cs

St. George was known for Courage, Chivalry and Charity (the 3Cs). This weekend and Monday you can follow in his footsteps.

Why not buy a red rose for your loved-one (Chivalry), overcome a fear such as heights or spiders (Courage), and donate to a good cause (Charity)?

Send an email to office@stgeorgesholiday.com and tell us your plan for the 3Cs.

Send us your St. George celebration photos

We love hearing from supporters like you and it would be great to see how you celebrate England’s national day. So send us your pics and we will upload the best to our Facebook page, www.facebook.com/stgeorgesholiday.


Make sure you have your St. George flag ready for the weekend and Monday. We know you have one :)

Please take time to sign our 10 Downing Street petition which demands a bank holiday on 23 April and is read by the Prime Minister, plus click here to email your MP and ask for their support (it takes just 3 minutes).

Happy St. George’s Day!
Graham Smith
Chairman

Downing Street petition
Write to your MP
Free St. George ecards

St. George Unofficial Bank Holiday
W: www.stgeorgesholiday.com
E: office@stgeorgesholiday.com

Funny Signs in English from around the world

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Posted on : 17-04-2012 | By : EnglandExists | In : Uncategorized

Cocktail lounge , Norway :
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners, Bangkok :
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi :
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster in Johannesburg :
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP..

In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In an Irish cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES .

Tokyo hotel’s rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Thai bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

Hotel , Yugoslavia :
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID..

Hotel , Japan :
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest :
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE..

Hotel, Zurich :
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Budapest :
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A laundry in Rome :
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME..